Full time

I recently moved from part time work (two 12 hour night shifts a week) to full time work (three 12 hour night shifts a week). 

And it's killing me.

Friends who had babies around the same time and returned to full time work while I was part time used to comment about they couldn't believe how much else I did, excursions we planned, errands I could get done, etc.  I would tell them that that extra shift they were working made all the difference in the world.

Damn, was I ever right.

Full time is making me exhausted.  It's tough to work night shift in general.  Your sleep is just screwed up, plain and simple.  Now I have to do that three nights a week and that means at least three days a week I'm all messed up.  Usually it's more as you have to recover.

It doesn't help that I'm in school, still trying to juggle house/home stuff and such.  I've got near constant headaches barely relieved by frequent meds (from a woman who rarely takes anything and always takes half doses).  Stress, tension and frustration are building up.  Well, that's been happening for a while, but it's definitely worse now. 

I could try to switch to days but 1) I couldn't stand to be away from Sweet Pea that much especially since it would adversely affect our nursing relationship that is still important to us both, and 2) I like and maybe need the extra 10K a year I get from working nights.  I already took a pay cut in changing jobs so I really don't want to lose any more.

It's all worth it in the long run (I think, I hope) and we have a plan that will hopefully come to fruition in the next year or so that will have me working less.  But right now?  Right now I am exhausted and frustrated and sad and angry and just plain beat.  I need a vacation, and I just had one a few weeks ago.

I'm still orienting on my new job and I just hope that when I'm out of the watchful eye of a preceptor that I'll feel a bit more comfortable and maybe that will make some of the stress melt away a bit.  :/